Philemon 14 - …but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.
In Paul’s letter to Philemon, he asks for Philemon’s gracious treatment of a former bondservant named Onesimus who stole from him and fled to Rome, only to convert to Christianity there. He asks that Philemon would forgive Onesimus when he returns rather than punish him.
Verse 14 shows us the spirit by which Paul writes: “...that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.” This way of thinking is not new for Paul. He writes to the Corinthians: “I say this not as a command, but to prove that your love is genuine” (2 Cor 8:8). He has a way of pitting compulsion against love. Maybe they’re not full opposites in every sense of the word, but still, the idea is if something is commanded, then it takes the personal choice out of it. And love and choice are inextricably connected. If I were to tell my wife Aletha, “I got you these flowers because someone told me I had to,” it would take some of the romance out of it. Actually, all of the romance out of it. Or at Christmastime, we tend to be a bit more moved by surprise gifts than gifts we asked for.
These verses exist for something bigger than ourselves, for the sake of telling us what God is like. They teach us that God’s love for us is a willing love, not according to law or commandment, but according to grace. No one told him he had to love. He is love. And he offers us forgiveness through the person and work of Jesus Christ, who willingly gave his life that he might win his bride back from the pit of hell.
The ripple effects of God’s grace move across our hearts in such a way that the non-compulsory love that we show others is “borrowed” from this broader notion of God’s loving choice to suffer for us. Non-compulsory love is the only thing that can breed non-compulsory love. This is why the era of grace is so much superior to the era of the law — not simply because it was built on better promises (Heb 8:6) but because true life change comes by being loved, not by being told to love.
CHRIS WACHTER / LEAD PASTOR